Lauren Goodger opens up about how daughter Larose saved her life after her newborn baby’s tragic death
Lauren Goodger has opened up about feeling suicidal after the harrowing death of her baby plunged her into heartbreaking grief.
The TOWIE star gave birth to her second child with ex-boyfriend Charles Drury in 2022 but she tragically died just moments later, due to lack of oxygen. It emerged that the umbilical cord “had two knots in it”.
In a new interview ahead of what would have been Lorena’s fourth birthday, she detailed her devastation and the impact this loss had on her family at the time.
“It changes you as a person completely. The pain, the loss, thinking, ‘What would she be doing now?’ Thinking of the girls playing together. That hurts,” she said.
Less than a week later, Lauren recalled, Charles decided to end their relationship, telling her that he no longer loved her.
Describing that time as “horrendous”, she explained that she considered taking her own life, but the thought of her eldest child, Larose, stopped her.
“I was suffering panic attacks at night, terrified of dying and leaving Larose on her own. I still get them. I felt suicidal. I have done so since. If it wasn’t for Larose I can honestly say I wouldn’t be here,” she continued to the Sun.
“I realised that night it was the end of us. I felt terrified being upstairs on my own with a one-year-old while my Lorena was downstairs in the living room in her casket. That night was the weirdest, most terrified and lonely I’ve ever felt.
“Charlie and I had a toxic, trauma bond. After that, although we were actually separated, I fell pregnant again, twice to him, and then miscarried. We finally split for good in 2024. Now we are no longer in a toxic place. We co-parent, go on holiday and nice days out. It’s been the hardest role I have ever had to play, but I do it for my daughter.”
Lauren came to fame in 2010 when she appeared in the first season of TOWIE, alongside Mark Wright, Sam Faiers, Amy Childs, James Argent and Kirk Norcross.
After a lengthy exit, she eventually returned to the show in 2023. She has since put pen to paper for a new book, Mum Of Two: Love, Loss and My Life on Towie. It was this, as well as her TV comeback, that gave her a much-needed distraction, and some confidence.
She previously told the Mirror of her new project: “I am writing Mum Of Two, as when the unimaginable happened I couldn’t find a book that helped me during the most difficult times, after losing my newborn baby. This is my story of loss and grief, and of finding my courage and strength.
“My eldest, Larose, is the light of my life. She loves to be the centre of attention, just like me. But my youngest, Lorena, is harder to picture. I never heard the sound of her laugh, or her cry.
“However much I have put on a brave face, it’s been so hard. I am a good mum to Larose, she’s my world. I am strong for her, I have to carry on.
“Despite the battles in my life that no one even knows about, I’m still standing. I want to help others by sharing my experiences.”
If you’re struggling and need to talk, the Samaritans operate a free helpline open 24/7 on 116 123. Alternatively, you can email jo@samaritans.org or visit their site to find your local branch
Disclaimer : This story is auto aggregated by a computer programme and has not been created or edited by DOWNTHENEWS. Publisher: mirror.co.uk
