George Santos was famously convicted of “wire fraud and aggravated identity theft” after reportedly spending donor money on “luxury goods” plus “Botox treatment” and OnlyFans subscriptions. But now that his seven-year prison sentence has been commuted by President Trump, Santos seems very concerned about crime.
After being roasted by pretty much every late-night TV comedian around, the disgraced former congressman just proved that nobody is better at embarrassing George Santos than George Santos himself.
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“Sadly it seems that my family and I will be departing the city I’ve called home my entire life,” Santos wrote in a recent social media post. “NYC will become a very dangerous place to live in if we elect mayor (Zohran) Mamdani and that is a risk I am unwilling to take now that I want to start growing my family.”
If the idea of a convicted felon, who also happens to be a registered Republican, blasting a Democratic mayoral candidate for being too soft on crime mere days after leaving prison himself sounds oddly familiar, that’s probably because, well, The Simpsons did it.
As you may recall, Season Six’s “Sideshow Bob Roberts” begins with Bart’s mortal enemy charming his way out of an attempted murder sentence — no, we’re not talking about Dr. Demento.
Sideshow Bob works with the conspicuously Rush Limbaugh-coded conservative radio host Birch Barlow to launch a campaign to become Springfield’s next mayor. And this plan is backed by the town’s other Republicans, including Mr. Burns, Rainier Wolfcastle, Dr. Hibbert and some kind of deformed green vampire guy.
Sideshow Bob’s first campaign ad criticizes the liberal Quimby for his weak policies concerning crime, alleging that he “supports revolving door prisons” — as in prisons with literal revolving doors, plus escalators and ski lifts that allow inmates to go free. “Mayor Quimby even released Sideshow Bob, a man twice convicted of attempted murder,” the overly-grim narrator intones. “Can you trust a man like Mayor Quimby? Vote Sideshow Bob for Mayor.”
Following Santos’ similarly hyperbolic claims about the imaginary crime wave caused by the yet-to-be-elected Mamdani’s term, writer and Simpsons fan Adam Johnson pointed out that Santos basically just “did the ad.”
And this wasn’t even the first time that Santos’ hypocritical attacks on the Democrats’ “soft-on-crime policies” have been compared to Krusty the Clown’s old sidekick.
So don’t be surprised if Santos tries to run for political office again and actually gets voted in thanks to all of our dead relatives and pets.
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