EXCLUSIVE: Former Great British Bake Off host, Sandi Toksvig, says she was told she would never work again after coming out in 1994
When Sandi Toksvig came out as gay in 1994, her life as she knew it was over. The former Great British Bake Off host, 68, who shares three children with ex-partner, Peta Stewart, and is now married to psychologist, Debbie Toksvig, is one of the nation’s most popular presenters.
With programmes, including quiz show QI on her stellar CV, the Cambridge graduate boasts a legion of loyal fans across the country. However, when Sandi, who was born in Denmark, revealed her sexuality more than 30 years ago, she says she received death threats and her family had to go into hiding in a heartbreaking admission.
Recalling the harrowing moment with her signature wit and charm, the star told the Cheltenham Literary Festival: “The death threats came immediately and the entire family had to go into hiding. I don’t know why anybody was surprised. In an old school, typical way, I think it was easy to spot. Partly my shoes and partly my tremendous ability with power tools.”
It did not get easier for the star, who was nearly expelled from her Cambridge college at the end of her first year after another woman stayed in her room.
Sandi went back to Cambridge three years ago, where she revealed she was still regularly receiving death threats over being a lesbian. In a sad admission, she told the Cambridge Union that she had her wife, Debbie, who she married in 2014, had to have police protection on their wedding day.
Despite the abuse she has been subjected to, Sandi has a string of succesful shows under her belt, including The Great British Bake Off, which she hosted alongside Noel Fielding until 2020. However, she says she is saddened by the lack of representation of people like herself in the media, which concedes is “disappointing”.
“I still feel like I have to stand up and be counted and that’s because homophobic hate crimes, hate crimes of all kinds, are on the rise. And also I felt much of the representation of people like myself in the media are really disappointing,” she said.
“Lesbians are often either serial killers or dead. That’s pretty much it. I’ll give you some examples. Kat, the lead character in the BBC series Lip Service, hit by a car. Literally just married to a woman, Kate, in Last Tango in Halifax, dead in a car crash. Nurse Patsy in Call the Midwife, she falls in love with Delia, who gets hit by a car. She doesn’t die, but she does forget she’s a lesbian. Emily on Channel 4’s Skins: dead from cancer, Sarah on Hollyoaks, a little bit more exciting, parachute sabotage, definitely dead. Maddie on Coronation Street, homeless girl, falls in love with Sophie, dies in an explosion…” listed the star.
Deciding she wanted to give more of a voice to the gay community, Sandi has now written a book called Friends of Dorothy.
Explaining the reason behind the title, she says: “Friends of Dorothy, if you don’t know it, it’s an old expression for a gay person, it comes from the Wizard of Oz books in L. Frank Baum’s 1909 book, a character declares, “You have some queer friends, Dorothy,” to which she replies, “The queerness doesn’t matter so long as they are friends.” And the book is about the families that we create, and that’s not just true of gay people, it’s true of families that split up, it’s true of foster families, all sorts of things.”
Pointing out that the book, which tells the tale of young female couple, Amber and Stevie, is for “everyone”, she concludes: “It’s a book for everybody, not just gay people. But it does have two women in it who love each other, and spoiler alert, they don’t die or kill anybody.”
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