Many comedy nerds idealize the stand-up life, but life on the road isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be, according to Shane Gillis and Matt McCusker. On the latest edition of Matt and Shane’s Secret Podcast, the two comics moan about the comedy grind.
“I’ve been stricken down with the melancholy, dude,” Gillis confessed. “I went for a walk the other day. I was going through it. I don’t have anyone to even talk to about this stuff.”
McCusker knows just how Gillis feels. “I see everyone saying I fucking stink. I got a message the other day from a lady just going, ‘Hey, just so you know, me and my boyfriend watched a special. It sucks so bad. I hate it.’”
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He struck back at the lady with a “God bless,” a strategy Gillis endorses. “I hit a lot of ‘God blesses,’” he said.
The pressure of constantly performing seems to be wearing on both guys. “I don’t have the same feeling (of excitement) every day,” McCusker said. “It’s just fucking kind of weird anxiety.”
Gillis cosigned, saying that you’d have to be a psycho to enjoy it.
Whew, guys! Sounds like you need a break! And that’s just what Gillis has in mind. “I see how Chappelle left for a while,” he said. “There’s a daydream all the time where I’m like, I could leave. I could leave for a few years.”
It sounds like more than a Dave Chappelle fantasy. “I probably will,” Gillis said. “Give me two more years, and I’m going to go away for a while.”
Is it all just idle talk?
The comedian knows that disappearing is easy to say, but hard to actually do. “A lot of people have a tough time leaving,” Gillis reasoned. “You got to get off the stage for them to want you back on the stage.”
There’s another element for Gillis to consider, offered McCusker. When you come back, you have to have a cool new look. When David Letterman returned, he was sporting a gnarly beard. When Chappelle came back, he was jacked. How would Gillis handle the physical transformation?
“I’ve got it,” Gillis said. “I’m going to change the pigmentation of my skin. Away for six years and come back black as hell.”
After joking that Gillis could change his name to Shanequake, McCusker seemed genuinely curious about how his friend would handle a pure sabbatical.
“Probably just jack off for five years,” Gillis replied, an activity that doesn’t strike him down with the melancholy. His monk-like, five-year plan is already in place: “Don’t talk to anyone. Just disappear. Go to Madrid. Jack off for five years. Come back black. Come back black as hell.”
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