Stokes’ theatrical retirement has left England cricket in a mess. That might have been the intention

To paraphrase the French general who watched the Charge of the Light Brigade, Ben Stokes’ retirement pageant was magnificent, but it wasn’t Test cricket. It was madness.

Stokes’ highly stage-managed retirement at 3.25pm in the middle of a Test match made for some great theatre, but has left English cricket in a mess. Perhaps that was partly the intention.

In addressing teammates in the morning, Stokes used the word “selfishly”. And he went on to admit after play that this was the best decision for him. As for whether it was the best decision for English cricket, he could offer only “I hope so”.

On Cricinfo, the respected English writer Vithushan Ehantharajah put it well: “He will be remembered as a cricketer who produced truly astounding moments. Including this one, right here. The day he decided this last moment would be for himself, and he torched the church that he built as a haven, because it had become a haven for him no more.”

Almost certainly, life is now about to get even tougher for the regime that lost the Ashes 4-1 in Australia.

Without their talismanic leader, coach Brendon McCullum, team director Rob Key and the ECB are faced with a year of trials before the 2027 Ashes series at home. The captaincy either goes back to Joe Root, who was personally burnt out by the job when he handed it to Stokes four years ago, or to the wastrel Harry Brook, who has all the talent in the world but precious little of the wisdom a captain requires.

By next year, Stokes may well be in a position to make another glorious comeback, having swerved the contests against Pakistan and South Africa that have now come to serve as something like pre-season games between Ashes bouts against Australia. Then there is the 150th anniversary Test at the MCG in March next year. Stokes is now free to play in the Indian Premier League instead. And the ECB figures with whom he has clearly lost trust will have sunk or swum by then.

As one former Australian opponent of Stokes told this masthead on Monday morning: “He retired from white ball and came back for a World Cup. He is like a prizefighter. They always retire and then come back for the big fights.”

The announcement of Stokes’ retirement came just as he started the 11th over of another long and self-flagellating spell on day four at Trent Bridge. The ground went into understandable tumult when his next ball claimed a wicket, but by then New Zealand were totally in control of the match and the series.

Stokes came up the order to open the batting in England’s chase for 373 to win, and slogged his way to 30 from 20 balls before being dismissed. At 4-102 from 15 giddy overs before stumps, England are staring defeat squarely in the face.

He spoke expansively about his retirement after play, but arguably the most telling lines were about how much his retirement announcement had been orchestrated. It had started with a pre-game request for a hospitality box for his family and friends, and was followed by plenty of planning.

“I spoke to the boys this morning, I spoke to ‘Rooty’ and ‘Brooky’ last night about everything,” Stokes said. “I still had a big job to do today out in the field … with the team we’ve got up there with the comms team and even ‘Baz’, I just said ‘you guys work with [his agents] Michael Lumb who looks after me, and Neil Fairbrother, and you guys come up with a plan, whatever you think is best’.

“We had a little plan where if we get to like seven or eight down, we think it’ll be nice to do the message because it was always going to be a tactical decision for me to open the batting because of the wicket and what we felt like we needed to do against the new ball.

“So everything considered I was like ‘you do what you feel is best’, and everyone had a laugh as we came off because as soon as it got announced, I knew, and everyone else was like ‘what’s going on’, and then of course I would have to take a wicket. Baz goes, ‘bloody hell, you should have done it an hour earlier because we might’ve bowled them out by now’.”

That degree of image-making is central to the many paradoxes of Stokes. Not for him the quietly graceful exit of Kane Williamson earlier this series, which can be measured by how it arguably helped New Zealand get better.

Instead, Stokes has left a trail of memorable moments and performances punctuated by a parallel list of dramas, sagas and low points.

He was sent home from an England A tour of Australia before his Test career even began, only to return and make a fine century in his second match.

He was at the centre of street fight outside a Bristol nightclub in 2017, only to be acquitted of affray and then become the star performer in the 2019 summer, where he masterminded a World Cup final victory and then an even more stunning chase against Australia at Leeds.

He was still affected by Bristol and the ECB’s response into 2020 and COVID-19 restrictions, forcing him to take a mental health break from the game in 2021.

He made a comeback to join England on the plane to Australia in 2021-22, then assumed the captaincy alongside new coach McCullum. He led England to a string of fearless victories over the next year.

He got ahead of himself in the first half of a memorable 2023 Ashes series, slipping to an 0-2 deficit, and then having his hopes of regaining the urn stymied by Manchester rain.

After an up and down two years, he found himself at odds with McCullum in Australia last summer, choosing to bat for survival while others threw their wickets away as the dream of an Ashes victory evaporated under the southern sun.

And in the hours following a Lord’s victory over New Zealand, he flouted a team curfew for a night on the town, then fought a legal battle with the ECB to avoid being blamed for doing so. Stokes has never been dull.

But if the measure of a career, or a captaincy, is commonly made by considering the shape in which a team is left behind, then Stokes’ time at the head of England will be a source of debate for years to come, comeback summer or not.

Because the manner of this retirement, in the midst of a team and Test series burning to the ground, also looked a little bit like Richard Nixon’s victory salute as he boarded a helicopter to leave the White House in 1974: a hollow spectacle.

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