LOS ANGELES—In a discovery many have hailed as a milestone in the field, a new study published Friday by scientists at the University of California, Los Angeles, found that humans likely developed opposable thumbs to signal “all good” to their buddies after falling off the roof. “New evidence suggests hominids first evolved this movable appendage in order to more efficiently assure their friends that everything is chill and nothing feels broken,” said study co-author Lynn Trinh, explaining that such dexterous thumbs could be traced back to Homo erectus, who often used the digit to indicate to companions that they were still feeling all right after jumping through a firepit on a dare, catching aflame, and then rolling to put themselves out. “According to our findings, early humans who lacked the ability to give the green light to their pals after falling from a significant height were quickly presumed dead and left behind by their tribe. If not for the adaptation of the thumbs-up, A-OK, and the shaka gestures by prehistoric people, our distant ancestors might very well have faced extinction.” The study also hypothesized that a secondary advantage of the opposable thumb was the ability for early man to give a thumbs-down after being hit in the nards.
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