ITASCA, IL—In what researchers are hailing as an incredible breakthrough in the understanding of early childhood development, a study published Friday by the American Academy of Pediatrics concluded that most infants can respond to the rustling of a potato chip bag three weeks after they are born. “Our trials have demonstrated that newborns will startle and react to the crinkling of a Lay’s potato chip bag much sooner than previously thought,” said lead author Dr. Delaney Mueller, adding that infants who participated in his team’s study were far more likely to react to the stimulus of a family- or party-sized bag of chips than a single-serving one. “We have determined that an innate reflex causes humans to reach out and salivate in the presence of any nearby potato chips, a trait clearly inherited from early Homo sapiens, who for millennia hunted for chips in the wilderness. This discovery empirically proves that our species has a genetic propensity to crave a greasy, salty snack from the earliest of ages.” The study also found that North American infants can distinguish up to 15 different Ruffles flavors before their first birthday.
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