EXCLUSIVE: Former Strictly Come Dancing host Tess Daly has opened up about the importance of ‘me time’ for women to avoid burnout, as she fronts a new Wellwoman campaign…
After 21 years of making our Saturday nights sparkle as co-host of Strictly Come Dancing, Tess Daly will be watching the hit BBC show from the comfort of her sofa this year. But as she enters a new chapter, she’s not resting on her laurels. The 57-year-old is on a mission to help women carve out genuine “me time”, in a bid to avoid total burnout.
Tess, who announced her shock split from husband Vernon Kay in May after 22 years of marriage, admits it sounds simple – but for the modern woman, stepping away from all the noise has never been harder.
“It’s about making yourself unavailable,” declares the Wellwoman ambassador at the Unavailable Hour experience. “I’m sure every woman can relate to being busy to the point where we feel bombarded in our lives.”
The former model, who clearly has work-life balance on her mind after stepping down from Strictly alongside co-host Claudia Winkleman, explains it’s about ring-fencing time every day.
She says, “If it’s an hour, fantastic, if it’s 15 minutes just sitting in your car, that’s alright too. We’re talking about a little time for yourself where you can reset, re-evaluate and just make space for yourself.”
Addressing an addiction most of us will be familiar with these days, she adds, “We are now at the mercy of our phones, aren’t we? There’s always something that needs to be done, checked – it’s very hard to relax. We need to switch them off sometimes. Though try telling that to my two girls!”
Tess has two daughters – Amber, 17, and Phoebe, 21 – with Vernon. Earlier this month she shared a gorgeous snap of a family holiday in the South of France with them and her ex, who she’s stayed friendly with.
Passionate about health and fitness, Tess continues, “It’s about not leaving ourselves last on the list because we’re looking after everybody else. It’s about making ourselves strong, so that we can properly be there for everyone else.”
Also at the event is clinical psychologist and burnout expert Dr Claire Plumbly who reveals, shockingly, that according to new research, 24% of women in Britain get less than an hour of genuinely uninterrupted time in a day – which, she explains, takes a heavy toll mentally.
The new research from supplement brand Wellwoman reveals that 62% of women remain mentally “on call” even when physically resting, while a further 61% feel guilty if they don’t respond to someone quickly enough.
Tess confesses guiltily, “Look at me. Even if I’m going for a walk or a quick 20-minute workout, if my phone’s there, the notifications are on, it pings, it vibrates. It’s almost like giving ourselves permission, isn’t it?”
She adds, “I know that for a lot of women who are caring for family, or are mothers, you have got your responsibilities. But nothing’s going to crash and burn if you do take that little slice of time.”
Tess, who runs her own fashion and lifestyle business, NAIA Active & NAIA Beach, admits it can be hard to keep all the plates spinning.
“It’s tricky, isn’t it, to compartmentalise what’s important. Because if we don’t take that time for ourselves, it makes it harder to show up for everybody else in our lives.”
According to Dr Plumbly, author of Burnout Book: A Guide To Recovery, a seemingly small but revolutionary start is simply telling people you’re unavailable for an hour a day.
She says, “You can either say upfront, ‘I’m going to set this boundary’ or you just start doing it – but then you have to explain it. You can tell people, ‘I’m having an unavailable hour.’ Then set the barriers around that which you need – like turning your phone off.”
But as Tess admits, there’s huge guilt still attached to being selfish with your time. She says, “At the moment, it comes up as a naughty ‘shouldn’t’. You think, ‘I’m just going to answer this now, so I’m on top of it.’ But you can never be on top of everything. And it’s nice to be in the moment. I do meditation for that reason. The distractions are gone. It’s like a little vacation within your day.”
For Tess, the ability to switch off is linked to movement. As a result, she will fit in a quick walk or do 15 minutes of yoga stretches.
She says, “I’m a great believer in taking notifications off your phone. It’s a fight. We’ve got to fight so we’re not last on the list, even if that’s sitting down with a cuppa for five minutes.”
“I do that in the morning. I get the morning light, sit down, pour some coffee… And that for me is quite meditative. I put my phone outside because I just don’t want to even start a conversation that early. And that sets me up for the day.”
Dr Plumbly says it’s about putting boundaries in place before you reach the point of burnout.
“Those can be with people who tend to push your buttons, financial boundaries, time boundaries. With your phone, how much time you’re spending doom-scrolling.”
One thing Tess does to try and wind down at the end of the day is grab a good book and read until she dozes off. But she admits she is often interrupted by WhatsApps from her younger sister Karen, who lives in New Zealand.
Tess says, “She starts messaging and wants to get into a conversation… I miss her very much, but then I get into chats about our kids, life, work… and so it begins. Then you can’t sleep! But it’s my sister, and there’s a crazy time difference, so when it’s her, I don’t mind.
“But if your nervous system is primed to be responsive all the time, which is what the availability load does to us, then stillness feels almost threatening. You need to retrain your nervous system, to lean into that time you created yourself.”
Another way Tess loves to unwind is by spending time with her pals. She says, “I really enjoy chatting over something like a three-hour lunch. We’ve got to keep reminding ourselves, it shouldn’t be a luxury to create time for yourself. It’s that simple.”
For more on Wellwoman, visit vitabiotics.com/wellwoman
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