Q: We’ve just moved into a new neighbourhood. While we don’t usually “observe” Halloween, should we this year to ingratiate ourselves with our new neighbours? I.M., Cranbourne, VIC
A: There are two times when you should be nice to neighbours: 1) when you move into a new neighbourhood (“Great to meet you! We must catch up once we’ve settled in! Can’t wait!“) and, 2) when you eventually move out of that neighbourhood (“Awww, what a shame we never got around to that catch-up! Wow, a decade can whizz by fast! Goodbye and good luck!“)
So there’s your answer: yes, go all out for Halloween. Decorate your front door in thick cobwebs, dangling spiders and giant moths which, if you live in Victoria, just involves turning on your outside light. Carve a jack-o’-lantern pumpkin for your front porch (yes, I know Australia doesn’t have soft-carving pumpkins, but that’s OK: your slashed-up hands and blood-soaked shirt means your Halloween costume is all sorted). And when you answer your door to the kiddies, be friendly, hand out quality confectionery and wave at the parents waiting on the footpath (usually hiding behind trees because they don’t want to meet their neighbours, either).
Make a solid first impression so that, next year, you can be your true selves: no decorations, no pumpkins – and if kids knock on your door asking for candy, tell them, “Halloween isn’t an Australian tradition and just signifies the relentless Americanisation of our country! But if you’re going to do it, ask for lollies, not candy! And at least wear a spooky, Aussie-themed costume! The Babadook – or Kyle Sandilands!” Then slam the door in their little faces. Or don’t answer the door at all. Actually, that’s probably wiser. Turn the lights off and hide.
Disclaimer : This story is auto aggregated by a computer programme and has not been created or edited by DOWNTHENEWS. Publisher: www.smh.com.au
