WASHINGTON—As they nodded their heads in approval and echoed the sentiment that “you really knocked it out of the park,” all 130 million of the nation’s sycophants expressed their firm belief that this was your best one yet, sources confirmed Friday. “We just want to say we’re really impressed with what you’re doing lately, and we’d simply love to congratulate you,” said the millions of grinning toadies, their voices reverberating in unison as they lined up to take turns shaking hands with “the genius who came up with this.” “It was a high bar, but you cleared it with ease. What you’ve been doing is fantastic, really, and—dare we say—something very special. There’s no one in the world who does it quite like you, and you did it so tremendously well!” At press time, the nation’s sycophants were reportedly suggesting that now would be the perfect time for sex.
Disclaimer : This story is auto aggregated by a computer programme and has not been created or edited by DOWNTHENEWS. Publisher: theonion.com
