When half the competition has nothing to play for, the NRL has a problem

Much of Round 22 felt like we were watching two NRL divisions: teams readying for the finals and teams readying for Mad Monday.

The Panthers, Roosters, Warriors and Sharks looked like they are building game plans to hold firm for the last two weeks of the season.

With expansion coming, the shallowness of the competition is a concern for the NRL. The divergence in standards and motivation is exaggerated by the fast pace of the game.

The Cowboys, who embarrassed themselves in an 82-12 defeat to the Roosters on Thursday, were in eighth
place going into that game.

This is the thinnest competition for years, and most NRL fans could have made alternative September holiday plans as far back as June.

How to keep more people interested? The AFL came up with the gimmick of copying the American NFL and growing the top eight into a Clayton’s top 10, giving two extra teams a second chance with a four-team wildcard round.

A cynical commercial play it might have been, but cynical commercial plays are the NRL’s bread and ever more thinly spread butter.

The main obstacle to an NRL wildcard round would be whether Peter V’landys could ever stomach
doing something the AFL has already done.

And while it might prolong the agony for more lucky fans, a wildcard round doesn’t address the fundamental issue.

A functional salary cap could help, but the NRL has never made a priority of that.

September pain for Bellamy

Craig Bellamy, whose Storm missed the finals for the first time since they had their points deducted for salary cap cheating in 2010, gave an insight into his unfamiliar feelings after Friday night’s loss to the Bulldogs ended Melbourne’s September hopes.

“Bit pissed off, really,” the great coach said. “I think my grandkids have got a couple of teddy bears and I might go home and punch the shit out of them.” (The teddy bears, he meant.)

“It’ll be interesting to see how I handle it when the finals start, and we’re not there. I might just go for a walk at three in the afternoon or 7.30 at night.”

What can you say? After 16 years, the best coach in the NRL will finally know how September feels for regular rugby league followers. It’s a tough month for teddy bears.

Touchy subject

OK, life isn’t easy for NRL touch judges, what with regular allegations that their eyes are painted on, but is it this hard?

On Saturday night, in the 60th minute of their loss to Newcastle, the Broncos finally got across the line with a try to Reece Walsh between the posts.

Walsh slightly smothered his routine kick, but then, to his dismay, both touchies ruled that the conversion had gone under the crossbar, swatting their flags downwards in that definitive don’t-argue touchie style.

Walsh did argue, and a replay showed the ball going over the crossbar, Harry Souttar-style.

Really? You only have one job, and you can’t judge a ball going over the crossbar from spitting distance? Never has the Roy and H.G. proposal for a Touchies’ Centre of Excellence held more merit.

Good cop, bad cop

Reports that the NRL will introduce a “media cop” to police aspects of the game’s coverage will generate plenty of commentary, at least while such commentary is still allowed.

There seem to be two aspects to the cop’s role. One is to limit conflicts of interest, where media figures are compromised by also having roles with clubs or as player agents.

This is a good thing, and overdue. The other, reportedly, is to crack down on “negative coverage” of the game.

It sounds like a Trojan horse deal, where the person is smuggled in for a good reason but can then exercise more nebulous powers.

If past performance is a guide to the future, take note: the NRL has seldom shown much concern about conflicts of interest, but it gets very narky about negative coverage.

In the words of one commentator who has brought both conflicts of interest and negative coverage to his role: No, no, no, no, no. Or, to rephrase for our new era of positivity: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Is King just warming NSW throne?

Nobody listens to this column’s ideas, so Des Hasler hasn’t been named as New South Wales Origin coach.

But appointing Matt King will break new ground.

The elevation of assistants to head coaching roles in the NRL has had patchy success, and under the scrutiny of Origin, to have someone with no head-coaching experience in the big job promises to be … interesting.

Add the subplot that they may just be warming the seat for Ivan Cleary when he becomes available, and you’ve got lots of commentary loaded up and shots waiting to be fired. As long as it’s all positive, of course.

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