Kash Patel’s time as FBI director has been plagued by accusations of chaotic behavior, binge drinking, and unexplained absences. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the head of the federal law enforcement agency.
Claim To Fame: First person to give up looking for Nancy Guthrie
Office Nickname: Shhh, He’s Right There
Greatest Asset: 360-degree field of vision
Signature Look: “Oh you definitely took too much, bro.”
Case He’s Currently Working On: Heinekens
Biggest Case Solved: Which bar he left credit card at
Girlfriend: Living large while she can
Blood Alcohol Level: 0.63 Hegseths
Disclaimer : This story is auto aggregated by a computer programme and has not been created or edited by DOWNTHENEWS. Publisher: theonion.com
