BOISE, ID—Inviting friends, family, and “lovers of crepes from far and wide,” local man Mark Kovac, 53, held a gathering Friday to celebrate the grand opening of the single worst financial decision of his entire life.
Lulu’s Crepes, which 10 months from now will be referred to by a loan officer as the sinkhole that devoured all of Kovac’s liquid assets, marked the occasion with complimentary food, sparkling cider, and a raffle to win a French-style beret. The café officially opened its doors to the public this week, serving both breakfast and lunch in a part of town that Kovac will soon learn is not as “up and coming” as a real estate broker led him to believe.
“We serve what I call customizable crepes, where you start with just your basic crepe and then chose from over 60 different filling options,” the first-time entrepreneur said as he showed reporters around the sole cause of his credit score plummeting hundreds of points and not recovering for decades. “A few years ago, we had some friends staying at our house, and I made crepes for breakfast. One of them said, ‘Mark, this is as good as what you’d get in a restaurant!’ That made a little bell go off in my head.”
“Think about it: Who doesn’t love crepes?” he continued. “Plus, it’s a cool hangout spot the young people are gonna love.”
As an acoustic duo played music beneath a balloon arch, Kovac sat down to discuss how he quit a stable, mid-level position at a recession-proof pharmaceutical company to work full time on his restaurant concept. The husband and father eventually hit on the idea of serving both sweet and savory crepes so “folks could stop in for dessert, a light lunch, you name it.” He also plans to serve “the best coffee in town” as soon as he figures out how to install and operate a $10,000 espresso machine he purchased.
Grinning at a small group of people who squinted at a menu to select ingredients for their crepes, Kovacs said it was great to see so many familiar faces. He had aimed to open Lulu’s last summer, but was delayed by the need for extensive renovations he paid for by cashing out a 401(k) that, if left untouched, would have accrued $2.1 million by the time he retired. When he needed help securing a 10-year commercial lease, he turned to an outside backer who soon became the namesake of his creperie.
“He named it after me—isn’t that sweet?” said Kovac’s mother, Luisa, an 81-year-old woman who will almost certainly spend her final years in a low-income senior-living facility after putting her house up as collateral to help open the café. “I’m more of a pancake girl, myself, but if Mark says there’s a goldmine in crepes, then I’m glad to invest my money in his business.”
During brief remarks to his guests, Kovac thanked his mother as well as his three children, who as a result of his ruinous passion project will not be able to afford college. He then turned to his wife.
“I could never have achieved my dream without Susan’s support,” said Kovac, embracing the woman who in time will only communicate with him through a legal mediator as they argue over the last remaining pennies in any joint accounts. “I have a feeling this adventure will bring us closer together than ever.”
“It’s true what they say,” he added. “If you do what you love [and fail to account for the razor-thin profit margins exacerbated by high staff turnover and your own inexperience in the market], you’ll never work a day in your life.”
Disclaimer : This story is auto aggregated by a computer programme and has not been created or edited by DOWNTHENEWS. Publisher: theonion.com
