NEW YORK—Touting the initiative as a way to “bring love for the Orange and Blue to the places that need it most,” the New York Mets front office announced Thursday that franchise mascot Mr. Met had embarked on a missionary trip to the Amazon rainforest to spread Mets fandom to the region’s uncontacted tribes. “As we speak, Mr. Met is canoeing down the Envira River deep in the heart of the southwestern Amazon, distributing Mets hats, foam fingers, and Doc Gooden rookie cards to people who have never even heard of David Wright,” said Mets owner Steve Cohen, who showed reporters photographs of the baseball-headed mascot handing out free Mike Piazza jerseys to the Javari Valley’s Arrow People and drawing a Citi Field diagram in the soil with a stick as fascinated Mashco Piro tribe members looked on. “We firmly believe that by teaching these peoples to sing ‘Meet The Mets’ and explaining to them why the offseason additions of Bo Bichette and Freddy Peralta might make the team into playoff contenders, Mr. Met can create a passionate New York Mets fan base in some of the most isolated cultures on the planet.” Cohen concluded the press conference by acknowledging that Mr. Met had narrowly escaped death at the hands of a hunter-gatherer society that had already become diehard Colorado Rockies fans following an earlier visit from Dinger the triceratops.
Disclaimer : This story is auto aggregated by a computer programme and has not been created or edited by DOWNTHENEWS. Publisher: theonion.com
