MIAMI—Whispering a final goodbye to a wallet photo of his wife and two young daughters, beer delivery driver Marcus Dailey jumped down from the cab of his semi truck Wednesday and pointed a trembling shotgun as a crowd of Scottish soccer fans closed in. “Back! I’m warning you! Get back right now!” said Dailey, nestling the butt of the gun into his shoulder as the snarling throng of Scots in blue-and-white jerseys and tartan kilts continued to advance. “All right, you wanna go? Okay, fuck you and your highlands and your Loch Ness monster and your bagpipes, too. Haggis-munching motherfuckers!” At press time, a soccer fan wearing the Scottish flag as a cape had torn through the sleeve of Dailey’s uniform, leaving the driver with a few seconds to murmur Aauld Lang Syne with a smile before turning the gun on himself.
Disclaimer : This story is auto aggregated by a computer programme and has not been created or edited by DOWNTHENEWS. Publisher: theonion.com
