Home Satirical News BUDGET SECRETS – Why Labour Needs the Neets

BUDGET SECRETS – Why Labour Needs the Neets

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Aye, we’ve just had the great northern Labour budget. What an absolute stonker. Well, it’s a stonker if you’re unemployed or a NEET “Not in Education, Employment, or Training” – but if you’re one of the “working people”, it’s more work for you for less money because the taxman wants more of your hard-earned, backbreaking wonger. Since Labour came to power, the NEETS have flourished as have the permanently unemployed, and it’s all for a very good reason.

Elections need votes. Labour recently reduced the voting age to 16. NEETS are great for Labour because they are a product of the socialist education system — one that creates these kids with no hope whatsoever, doomed to depend on government handouts taken from the taxes of the poor workers and businesses still in existence.

NEETS love being NEETS. They get paid whatever happens and for doing fuck all. How’s that for a fucking job? In this respect, when Labour pulls the election trigger, the NEETS will vote Labour because they want their money for nothing and their cheques for free. Being stupid, feckless, lazy and on drugs most days is an occupation in Labour’s Britain.

Many billionaires and millionaires have fled the UK because of Labour. Many businesses and companies have either fled the UK or gone under because of Labour. The NEETS stay put. They love the UK under Labour. Imagine getting £26,000 per year for doing fuck all. Get your spliff, ciggies and booze all paid for; it’s a no-brainer, and for a NEET, stupid, lazy, ignorant, apathetic and entitled, all they have to do is vote for Labour or there will be a threat that they lose their free ride.

That’s a real bummer, man; no NEET wants a fucking Tory or Reform cunt breathing down their neck wanting them to actually work or be educated. Add in the millions of asylum seekers, economic migrants, and permanently unemployed, and the welfare bill invariably skyrockets. Who’s going to pay for this shit? The private sector has been punished hard by the highest tax burden in decades, and much of the wealth has fled Britain since Labour gained power. There is zero economic growth instead.

Labour needs millions more NEETS, permanently unemployed and mass open-door migration because each of those is a vote for Labour. You win elections with this tried and tested technique.

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