HEATH, TX—Admitting that he had no memory of agreeing to the endorsement deal, NBA Hall of Famer Shaquille O’Neal told reporters Tuesday that even he was surprised to learn he was the new spokesman for DivaCup. “Really don’t remember signing up for this one—I remember Icy Hot, the General, JCPenney, and Muscle Milk, but not this Diva thing,” said the four-time NBA champion, staring in confusion at a commercial in which he is seen touting the benefits of the silicone menstrual cup, which he speculated “seems to be some kind of condom for girls.” “I mean, I’m not gonna say no to a $2 million check, but I’m not sure who thought I should be the face of this. I guess it kind of looks like a basketball hoop, but they didn’t have me dunk on it in the commercial or anything. I just hold it up and say, ‘No matter what your flow, Diva’s the right fit for you. Say goodbye to single-use tampons and hello to reusable 12-hour protection.’ So I don’t know. Maybe ladies just really trust Shaq.” After being informed about the actual function of a menstrual cup, O’Neal shrugged and observed that “it’s still not as gross as Papa Johns.”
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