As more Americans than ever turn to Ozempic and Wegovy for weight loss, consumers are becoming increasingly conscious of such drugs’ trade-offs. Here are the pros and cons of taking GLP-1s.
PRO
Always fun injecting something
More comfortable than ball gag
Creates enough loose skin to take flight
Average user finds over $20 in loose change in stomach folds
Gaunt appearance perfect for Jack Skellington cosplay
Can finally fit in electric chair
CON
Worked really hard to get “Bubba” nickname going
You’ll break Ma’s heart if you don’t finish that spaghetti
Constantly tripping over excess skin
Subcutaneous tissue already pretty full
Might go below 700-pound weight minimum mandated in TLC contract
Could lose Big Dude USA brand sponsorship
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