Kendrick Perkins Puts On Sleep Apnea Mask Mid-Segment

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  • Aunt Wants Picture Of Cake

  • Glider Crash Quietly Kills 2

  • Area Man Asked For Opinion Out Of Pity

  • Imaginary Friend Sure Knows A Lot About Burning Down Homes

  • Local Man Not Sure Who To Take From Prom This Year

  • Turkey Gobbles Just As Man On Hunting Trip Tells Father He’s Gay

  • Attempt To Spell ‘Mayonnaise’ Devolving With Every Effort

  • Area Foot Finds Nice Cool Spot In Bed

  • Man With Shellfish Allergy Killed By Gun Of All Things

  • 811 Called Before Burying Victim In Yard

  • NDA Violated At First Possible Opportunity

  • Man Googles ‘Easy Hobbies’

  • Man Just Sayin’

  • Bump Taken Off Fentanyl Test Strip

  • Sign Clarifies Street Named After Different Martin Luther King

  • Dog Understands Loneliness Of Success After Tug Of War Victory

  • Loud Friend Makes Loud Point

  • Study: Majority Of Americans Out Of Step With America

  • Gathering Of Pigeons Shown Who Is Boss

  • Report: Every Goddamn Light In The House On





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