Machine Gun Kelly has revealed that after a cocaine fuelled binge, as his heart was preparing to stop beating, a picture of his daughter gave him the strength to find help
MGK has revealed he felt his heart was about to ‘stop’ after consuming cocaine(Image: Carter Gregory/Youtube)
MGK has revealed a photo of his daughter saved his life after binging on cocaine.
The musician, 36, recalled the terrifying incident which he said almost caused his heart stop. Speaking candidly, the Bloody Valentine musician said that he wanted the last thing he saw to be his daughter, Casie. But this spurred the musician-turned-actor to seek help as he managed to regain strength.
Over the years, MGK has been open about his battles with cocaine, heroin, alcohol and an addiction to Adderall, a medication used to treat ADHD, before going sober.
Speaking to Carter Gregory on The Set List in what has been billed as his “most honest conversation,” MGK, whose real name is Colson Baker, admitted that there are days he “doesn’t want to be here anymore,” but his two children “speak to him,” and what he says is a “blessing”.
He said: “One time, my heart was about to stop, too much cocaine, I could just feel it… I felt my heart was palpitating crazily. I felt… I felt everything. My consciousness started to go away, stuff like that, and… I started to think about the last image I wanted to see is my kid.
“So I was like, scrambling to take whatever strength I could summon from my mind to like, to open my phone and look at her face. And when I did that, I was like, ‘Oh, I can’t go. Yeah, I can’t… I can’t go.'”
The musician went on to explain that the day in question was especially weird as his star chart lined up to read: “You could die on this day”. MGK added: “I’ve tricked the Reaper so many times, that’s why I said that in Fix Ur Face, I said ‘I’m done trying, I tried dying enough times, eight lives, I used all those, I’m on nine.'”
But looking towards the future, the actor, who shares daughter Casie with his ex-partner, Emma Cannon, and Saga Blade Fox-Baker with actress Megan Fox, says he’s not sure how strong he’ll be a year from now or ten years from now.
He added: “With what I want to do while I’m here, I haven’t done near enough. I feel like I’m only on chapter three, and I don’t know any good book that ends on the third chapter.”
Speaking previously, MGK revealed that aged around 11 or 12, his daughter Casie questioned him, asking how she would know when he was high. “It was the ultimate letdown,” he said on an episode of the Million Dollaz Worth of Game podcast.
He went on to add: “It took me a while afterwards, because obviously drugs have a vice grip on you. That was step one for me. As a father and as a man, to be the father I wish my dad would have been, I have to break this generational curse for my kid.”
After completing the UK leg of his Mainstream Sell Out Tour, he entered rehab having battled with alcohol, pills and cannabis. Nowadays, he’s “completely sober from everything”.
He credited his former fiancée, Megan, for being “extremely helpful” in dealing with the “psychological withdrawals” associated with sobriety.
When life is difficult, Samaritans are available day or night, 365 days a year. You can call them for free on 116 123 or visit samaritans.org.
Frank offers confidential advice about drugs and addiction (email frank@talktofrank.com, message 82111 or call 0300 123 6600) or the NHS has information about getting help.
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