Ten* things I hate about Chris Minns, and should have told the doorknocker who asked

I’m in the middle of mountains of post-holiday laundry when my dearly beloved calls me so insistently I assume he’s having a medical episode. Midway down the stairs, arms full of unfolded undies and unpaired socks, I hear what he’s actually saying.

Come talk to this woman. She’s doorknocking for NSW Labor.

She’s charming. A councillor in another area. But I am so embarrassed to have to confess this, I was utterly unprepared. I have a few issues with Chris Minns and here was a willing pair of ears who would take important policy critiques from my mouth to God’s ear. Or at least to the premier.

But when she asked if I had any problems, I lied. My bloke had a few words to say about the way protesters had been treated. But me? Reliably outspoken and opinionated ole me? Nothing. It was like I had brain freeze.

I never want you to be the dud I was on that occasion, so here’s my list. Turns out that doorknockers don’t really want to know what you think in any fine-grained way. You’re just one ageing grandma with an opinion. Phoebe Hayman, researcher at La Trobe University and an expert on doorknocking, says the practice is more about spreading the vibe, the warmth, the personal contact. Yeah OK, but no thanks. I have so much warmth I’m melting.

So what should I have said? Chris Minns, here are (*not quite) 10 things I hate about you. Please fix them stat.

How – on God’s green Earth – are we letting Catholic health into more hospitals in this state? Now, in my humble view which I couldn’t articulate with an armful of laundry, you can’t have hospitals which don’t offer essential services. Calvary Health Care follows Catholic Health Australia’s Code of Ethical Standards. That bans contraception, termination of pregnancy, IVF services and voluntary assisted dying.

We do not need one more hospital with limited services in this state. Not one. Women already struggle with abortion access. Why make it worse?

Plus, my goodness, Chris, have you been to emergency with a fevered kid lately? Where are the doctors and nurses? More of them, please, urgently. You are meant to be admitted, discharged or transferred from the emergency within four hours. Of all the things that never happen, this never happens the most.

Let me help you be a better premier. I know the school choice for your kids (and the choice of the deputy premier and Minister for Education Prue Car) is local, Catholic. OK. But that means you are both a step removed from what happens in public schools.

Here’s what I see. Not enough permanent staff to do the job. Schools are not just about putting teachers in front of classes. They are also about devising programs to support every kid in the place. It’s about sport and drama and music and art and in-class support for kids who need it. It’s about management and money and plans and parents, the bullies, the devastated, the proud.

I sit in a public school playground three mornings a week. The principal is out there doing the doing with staff and parents. And, ahem, with grandparents who’ve forgotten the day of the school assemblies where their adorable eldest grandchild is getting an award. Think that’s excess to requirements? I was on public school P&Cs for 10 straight years. That’s how you build communities that choose public education.

Turns out, I was grateful to have my heroic husband there to save me on the day of the doorknock. The civil liberties thing is trash in this state. Laws rushed through. Will those laws protect a single Jew from antisemitism? I doubt that so much. Raging antisemitism has existed in this country for as long as I’ve been alive. Education works. Police beating the crap out of protesters does not.

There are more people in jail in NSW under a Labor government than there were under a Liberal government. Your approach to discipline isn’t working. It never works. Want fewer kids in jail? Fund the youth sector so we can interrupt the school-to-prison pipelines. Those youth hubs won’t build or staff themselves. Four government inquiries have recommended early intervention. Four. Do it. Just read the parliamentary inquiry into loneliness and sort this out.

And would it be remotely possible for you to distance yourself from the mining lobby? Even a few metres? The environment – and therefore the entirety of NSW – would be grateful.

Look, I could go on, but Hayman tells me that we need to get all our neighbours to say more or less the same thing to make an impact. Do that. Practice makes perfect.

Be ready for the day of the doorknock. But get your socks and undies put away before airing your dirty laundry.

Jenna Price is a regular columnist.

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