The ultimate holiday treat? Two hours away from your kids

There’s an immediate, shared understanding as my partner and I lie back on the cabana cushions and breathe out a big sigh. The cocktails haven’t even arrived yet. We haven’t even had a chance to get in the pool.

But the holiday – or at least, a few hours of holiday – begins here. Because right now, someone else is looking after our kids.

Some of you may scoff at this. But then, you’re probably happy to have someone come in and clean your room every day. You have someone else cook your dinner each night. Why not have some assistance with the duty that takes up the bulk of your life, whether on holiday or not?

There’s no way you could have convinced me that childcare was an indulgence before I became a parent. Kids club, no kids club – who cares? Your kids will find something to do regardless.

I also didn’t spend a whole lot of time in the sort of places that did have childcare facilities, because I wasn’t in the market. And I didn’t care because when you don’t have kids, you can’t possibly get your head around the all-encompassing nature of looking after children.

They say there’s no such thing as a holiday when you have young kids – it’s just parenting in a nicer location.

There’s a physicality to this care, particularly in the early years, of getting up at night and cleaning up after everyone during the day and getting people dressed and ready to go. But there’s a huge mental load too, of organising multiple lives in your mind, trying to make sure everyone is getting the attention they deserve, answering questions, planning activities, just worrying incessantly about terrible things happening, and then worrying that you’re worrying far too much about these terrible things.

Phew. And you don’t need a holiday from that?

For the next two hours though, Jess and I will be on holiday. We don’t have to constantly scan the pool to make sure no one is drowning. We don’t have to answer esoteric questions that will take us down wild conversational pathways that we will never be able to dig ourselves out of.

The only person I will take to the toilet in the next two hours will be me.

They say there’s no such thing as a holiday when you have young kids – it’s just parenting in a nicer location. Quite often though it’s parenting in a more difficult location, because the hotel doesn’t have comfortable bedding for little kids, or the restaurants don’t have the right food, or a million other things that are easier to manage in your own home.

Holidays begin to look more like a challenge than a pleasure. A parent once said to me, “It’s hard work making beautiful memories,” and that is so true that I have repeated it on every trip away with the family since.

We will look back on these times with pleasure. But in the moment, we know how hard we’re working just to get through it.

Which brings me back to the indulgence of childcare. No visions of champagne breakfasts for this parent. No hot air balloon rides or private jets. Indulgence looks like the sign-in desk at the kids’ club at Elements of Byron resort.

They only do this during school holidays, though fortunately that’s when we’re visiting. So we sign the kids in and they run inside all excited to play with toys and make arts and crafts and meet new friends.

We slink off in the direction of the pool, knowing we have a shady cabana bagged and nothing else to do for the next couple of hours but sip pina coladas and maybe even read a few pages of the books that we optimistically decided to bring with us.

The mental load diminishes for a few brief moments. The physical effort disappears. No one has made a bum joke in several minutes. This is the stuff holiday dreams are made of, the ultimate indulgence in many ways.

We do go on holidays without having someone else around to help with the kids. We travelled to Japan for 10 days and everyone had a ball exploring and eating and gaping at the wonders that country has to offer. Jess and I also worked really hard every day making those beautiful memories happen.

But then we went to Fiji, to Jean-Michel Cousteau Resort, which provides one dedicated nanny per child for your entire holiday, and wow, you have never been so indulged. We went skiing in Falls Creek and the kids attended full-day lessons, which essentially function as a childcare service, and everyone had the best time.

Because this is the thing about childcare when it’s done right: the kids have a really good time. They love it. They feel indulged. And we do too. Everyone has a holiday.

And then we all get back together at the pool and I resume my scanning for mortal danger.