BTS is back and embarking on a massive world tour. In honor of the K-pop group, The Onion takes a look at the history of boy bands.
1294
King Philip IV figures it’d be funny to make all the eunuchs sing.
1945
1,600 Nazi boy band scientists brought to the U.S. to counter Soviet pop development.
1964
The Beatles make your mom feel something beautiful and strange within herself that she will never feel again but will spend the rest of her life chasing.
1972
The Osmonds top the charts with “Do Your Homework Or You’ll Go To Hell.”
1973
Supreme Court rules that women can enjoy music.
1981
Record executives introduce the new Collateralized Boy Obligation (CBO) to bundle riskier adolescents with blue-chip youths, creating the modern “boy band.”
1989
East Berliners begin frantically tearing down the Berlin Wall in effort to kiss New Kids on the Block.
1994
The Spice Girls become the first female boy band.
1998
Nick Carter totally makes eye contact with us during the chorus of “As Long As You Love Me.”
1999
Your sister receives a visit from the authorities to discuss her increasingly unhinged letters to Hanson.
2003
Genre nearly implodes following a global shortage of L.A. Looks hair gel.
2008
Scooter Braun discovers one-member boy band Justin Bieber.
2015
Zayn Malik leaves One Direction after getting dream job working as BuzzFeed social media manager.
2019
“Bye Bye Bye” suddenly stuck in head again out of nowhere.
2023
Gen Z coworker claims she’s never heard of Boyz II Men.
2041
43-year-old Jung Kook pulls something in his back during Iowa State Fair performance.
2054
You finally marry Harry Styles.
Disclaimer : This story is auto aggregated by a computer programme and has not been created or edited by DOWNTHENEWS. Publisher: theonion.com
