DAYTON, OH—Expressing disappointment with what she described as unfulfilled campaign promises, local Make America Healthy Again voter Sandra Murrow told reporters Tuesday that she felt betrayed by the continued survival of her own children. “I voted for Trump because I was sure RFK Jr.’s health policies would put my son and daughter in the dirt on day one, but lately, I’m starting to worry that my kids might make it to adulthood,” said Murrow, adding that in her view, Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s vaccine skepticism, opposition to water fluoridation, and embrace of raw milk simply hadn’t gone far enough to endanger her kids. “I’ve always been a believer in dismantling public health infrastructure in favor of life-threatening pseudoscience, and I’m starting to feel like the GOP used that to take advantage of me with a bunch of hollow campaign-trail bluster.” “I had assumed this administration would take a much more active role in killing my children, but those measles outbreaks still haven’t made it to our school district,” she continued. “I voted for mass childhood mortality, dammit! How dare they tell me to be patient while my kids are thriving? If more children don’t start dying soon, Republicans are going to see a massive midterm backlash from parents like me who were expecting to be bereaved by now.” Murrow went on to state that she was considering moving her family to a place like Gaza or Iran where the American government takes killing children seriously.
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