OKLAHOMA CITY—In what is being hailed as a massive win for the state’s conservative lawmakers, the Oklahoma Legislature approved a new measure Tuesday that strictly bans marrying for love. “Marriage should be a holy union between a man and a woman who wants to aggressively procreate, not a couple who shares a profound romantic bond,” Gov. Kevin Stitt said as he signed into law the bill that restores marriage to its status as a legal transfer of property from one man to another. “Nowhere in Scripture does it mention soulmates or butterflies in the stomach. This law will not only ensure future generations maintain the empty, transactional nature of matrimony practiced in biblical times, but it will also be applied retroactively to dissolve the marriages of any couples who are currently in love. Divorce will no longer be recognized by the state except in cases where feelings have developed.” Gov. Stitt went on to praise the new law for protecting the children of loving marriages who might find it confusing to grow up in a family with two parents who share an emotional connection founded on passion and mutual respect.
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