WASHINGTON—After he rubbed his eyes and blinked to confirm he wasn’t dreaming or seeing things, President Donald Trump stated Thursday that he had spotted Hunter Biden smoking crack on the wing of Air Force One. “There’s—my God, I can’t believe it—Hunter Biden’s on the wing of this plane, and he’s smoking out of a glass pipe,” said the visibly alarmed Trump, who sprang from his seat and shouted, “Come here, everyone, quickly!” as the 56-year-old son of former President Joe Biden allegedly flashed a malicious smile at the commander-in-chief, wagged his finger, and ducked out of sight. “He was there a second ago, I swear! Right there! Right outside my window. Please, you have to believe me! [Secretary of State] Marco [Rubio], you believe me, don’t you? I’m not crazy. He was really there! Oh no, he just took off his shirt and stuffed it in the engine!” According to sources, the panic-stricken president demanded his aides get the Pentagon on the phone so the military could shoot the plane down immediately
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