INDIO, CA—Expressing shock and disappointment at the conduct of so-called music fans, representatives for concert promoter Goldenvoice announced Friday that Coachella’s second weekend had been canceled after drugs were found on the grounds of the festival. “After discovering what we believe to be illegal substances within the bounds of Empire Polo Club, we have made the difficult decision to cancel Coachella weekend two,” read a statement released by Coachella co-founder Paul Tollett, confirming that organizers had alerted authorities and locked down the premises immediately after finding a small baggie containing a square of psychedelic mushroom chocolate as well as several loose pills that might have been obtained without a proper prescription from a doctor. “Drug use is absolutely unacceptable, and the idea that this behavior could possibly take place at a music festival of all places is deeply troubling. Even if this was a one-off incident, we can’t take the risk that festivalgoers could be watching Justin Bieber or Addison Rae in anything other than a completely lucid state.” At press time, Goldenvoice had announced that a 74-year-old D.A.R.E. instructor had been chosen to headline Coachella 2027.
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