LOS ANGELES—Accusing the actor of abusing the all-powerful Life Current that binds the universe together, Lena Dunham claimed Friday that Adam Driver used the Force on the set of the HBO series Girls. “It can really create a toxic work environment when a coworker you thought was your friend suddenly begins shooting lightning out of his hand at crew members in between setups for dialogue scenes,” said Dunham, who detailed how the “emotionally manipulative” Driver influenced co-stars, guest stars, and Nautolans with his mind tricks, even going so far as to make them uncomfortable by forming intimate Force Dyads without their consent. “I know great actors can be difficult to work with, but seeing Adam backflip over me before sending my body careening through the wall of a set is just a little too far for a professional workplace. It’s heartbreaking when you learn a fellow artist you admire so much turns out to be another man utilizing the Dark Side to do whatever he wants.” At press time, sources noted that a Force ghost of Driver had attempted to dismiss the allegations as the result of a medical overabundance of midi-chlorians in his bloodstream.
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