Home Satirical News Britain Needs to Rejoin the EU Again

Britain Needs to Rejoin the EU Again

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Seriously, it looks like a lot of fun, and why not? Anarchy in the streets and vast debts that can never be paid off. This is just France as well; in other parts of the EU there are even more delights to behold. We must rejoin the EU again; it will be gloriously fun.

If you love burning delapidated schools and other educational establishments down to the fucking ground, the EU brings forth some serious positive vibes. Far leftist Anarcho-communist partisans throwing Molotov cocktails in every direction and beating the merde out of the cops. There is something wondrously romantic and endearing about watching such feats of raw violence. One feels a certain excitement in the loins at such displays of raw energy, a wild abandon that denotes a flicker of freedom in a world increasingly dying under overregulation and surveillance.

The good thing about riots is that they are inclusive. This is a very progressive EU stance where everyone is included in the melee, whether one is an illegal migrant, Islamic terrorist, anarchist agitator, communist revolutionary, student, teacher or chef, there is room for everyone.

The unelected British PM with no mandate to rule, Andy Burnham, needs to bring the UK closer to the EU for sure. This same energy must be imported into Britain immediately so the schools here can burn as well, and the riots, along with the deliciously entertaining violence, can spread across the UK from Land’s End to John o’Groats. There is already a decent level of tension; all it will take is a tiny spark of energy from the EU to light the tinderbox up like a motherfucker on roids.

More, more, bring forth more nihilism; the flag of the EU bristles with nihilistic force as the winds of anarchy ejaculate with pulsating ferocity across the European landmass, echoing into the chambers of Andy Burnham’s stretched orifice as he awaits a good fucking from the EU.

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